Critique

The author talks about the reflection of cohabiting and married couples regarding lifestyles. The author states the main idea clearly that is “cohabitation has proven to be one of the popular couple-responses to the decline in traditional marital expectations” (Wiersma, 1983, p.125). Wiersma provides examples and surveys to support her main idea, which her examples are all actually facts. The author’s argument is logical and it supports the main idea because what she says is it always depends on a person’s lifestyle to choose whether he or she suitable to cohabit or marry in nowadays. There is sufficient evidence for the argument. For example, today women depend on men less for their survival. Some women think that they can still survive and live happily without marrying or relying on men. This obviously proves the reason why marriage is declining now. However, the author does not provide enough points to support her idea. For example, may the culture in every country affect people’s choices of choosing to cohabit or marry? What about religions and any traditional histories? The author gives too many people’s point of view but neglects some things which can also affect the result of cohabitation and marriage importantly. In my own opinion, I agree what the author says about “relationships are choices made equally for personal reasons” (Wiersma, 1983, p.126). People should choose their choices depend on their own lifestyles and personalities. However, I do not fully support the author’s last point, which is “cohabitation can be an alternative to marriage”. Cohabitation and marriage are two different kinds of matter. Both of them can not be replaced by each other. Although the author says that “there is an increase of rationality in the modern world and a diminishing of the mythical, the romantic, and the poetic” (Wiersma, 1983, p.124), I think marriage is still an important role in the society and it is not easily replaced by cohaitation.

Reading Task #4

According to Geertje Else Wiersma in her book “Cohabitation, an alternative to marriage?”, 1983, she explains that the differences between cohabiting and married couples may contribute to the degree of individuation. “It seems that those who link marriage to greater security, stability, and self-fulfilment are the least individuated”, the author says (Wiersma, 1983, p.116). She then states that differences in social economic background hardly contribute to explaining individuation differences. However, Wiersma observes that “to be more individuated is certainly not an inherent trait of cohabiting couples. It can be found equally among married couples as long as certain dyadic conditions or characteristics pertain” (Wiersma, 1983, p.121). She reports that “everyone will create his or her own response to the tension of freedom and commitment that is inherent in couple intimacy, which is precisely the underlying theme of the study” (Wiersma, 1983, p.121).
In addition, Wiersma provides final observations about cohabiting couples by reflecting on the lifestyle in the context of societal changes. She clearly states the thesis statement that “cohabitation has proven to be one of the popular couple-responses to this decline in traditional marital expectations” (Wiersma, 1983, p.125). She generally recognizes that the notion of marriage is “a haven or a place for belonging is transmitted to baby-boom generation and the increase of rationality in the modern world and a diminishing of the mythical, the romantic, and the poetic” (Wiersma, 1983, p.123-124) to prove that the ratio of people who want to marry is declining. Furthermore, Wiersma explains the main difference between cohabiting and married couples “lies not in the fact that one is legally married and the other is not, rather in what they believe marriage has to offer in terms of security and stability, and in practical and legal conveniences” (Wiersma, 1983, p.128). Finally, the author states out that due to many things, such as styles, the sexual revolution and world-wide economic inflation are changing in the world, women and men make their own choice regarding their lifestyles.